She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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