haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
