we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
