This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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