Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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