Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
