She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize