On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
