so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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