i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
