im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
