She said her name was "party"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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