Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
And then he peed in my hair
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