I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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