He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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