im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
