K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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