i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
