i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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