did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
