i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
