Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
