If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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