Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
