Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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