We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
