u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
