small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
