don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize