Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
