So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
