Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
