Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
