I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Randomize
