she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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