Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
