if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
