Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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