I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
