this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
