we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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