I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
