I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I'm really busy with my period
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