Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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