White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
