They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
