Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
