It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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