i need an iv and a liver transplant
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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