She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
