found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
