It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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