She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
