I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
