Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
