He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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