so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
