You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
