I think I died a long time ago.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
