Well douche your snatch and let's go!
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize