im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
