Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Two words: nipple clamps
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