I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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