Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
