Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
