it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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